Day 5

I've decided to start creating blog posts, and post them when I am ready.

I made another move, putting me closer to actually living upstairs. I moved all of my toiletries into the upstairs bathroom. The shower isn't miserable, the shower curtain is old and stupid. No different when I am getting ready, aside from the fact that I don't have to see him naked in the shower. When I am almost ready, he had been coming in to shower. I had been pretty careful about not walking around in said natural state...he doesn't care.

You know, seeing him naked wasn't some ridiculously HOT occasion. Just unfortunate.

Today I am making a REVENGE dinner. I am using my CROCKPOT to make dinner. He is welcome to eat from it, but he hates the crockpot and how meat comes out. I love it. I love my crockpot. I am going to use it once a week now, because FUCK HIM! That felt good.

As it will hopefully be obvious, I am taking full advantage of starting over. It is more like rediscovering all of the things that I forgot I enjoyed. Like sleeping with the windows open. Reading in bed before falling asleep. Drinking coffee in bed while reading in the morning. These are all things that I loved doing in the summer, but I still was awoken every morning by the television and lulled to sleep everynight by an old MASH, NYPD Blue, or West Wing episode.

Day 3 I went to dinner by myself. I wanted Caesar salad from Le Chatelaine. I sat outside and ate, grading a couple papers in between a couple raindrops that fell. But just a couple. I am thinking about taking a trip alone. These cheap Skybus airfares, the NEW Moo Train, are so tempting. I don't think I've ever made decision without wondering what people would say/think. These seems like the perfect time to start that.

Day 2 we golfed. I cried twice. Frustration from a crappy shot, tied into the ridiculousness of "this is the last time we'll ever golf together." Not to mention another two-some joined us, and it was like pretending to be married again. Again you say? See Day 1.

Day 1 I had to pretend to be married while eating with the inlaws. He had to pretend more, as he had already taken his wedding ring off and had to put it on a couple blocks before their house. He literally said, "3-2-1" as he put it on. I think his wedding ring came off Friday. Before work. Before he told me he was done trying.