A couple months ago I learned about a thing called the "Golden Birthday". It is the birthday when your age is the same as the date.
Today is mine.
I received a card from my coworkers:
"Did you know that more than a million people were born on your birthday"
open card
"That makes you one in a million."
Gee. Thanks!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
For Future Knowledge
I have come to find out my friends have been put in a couple awkward situations. It makes me angry to know that they had to think about my relationship with Him. That they had to stress a little bit over how to handle things. I say a little bit, because I am not going to presume they stressed a lot. That would be a bit egotistical. But the concern over whether or not to TELL ME things has to be at least a little inconvenient for them. Especially when they have lives that are probably a bit stressful all by themselves, without figuring in my fucked up situation of the last 9 months.
In no way do I think they handled any of these things poorly. There is zero blame on them for not telling me things when they happened. There is zero blame for them telling me things now. It is sad and hurtful that the things happened. I am probably not as upset learning about them now, as I would've been learning about them then.
I think looking back at it is a good learning experience, so that if I am ever in that position, God forbid, I can impart some wisdom from this. To me, of course, it begs the question, do I wish they had handled it differently? The only reason I DO, is because in the moment, I could've handled it with Him. But now, having those conversations--ha, who am I kidding, they would be arguments--are a Moo Point. It is like a cow's opinion. It's just Moo.
In no way do I think they handled any of these things poorly. There is zero blame on them for not telling me things when they happened. There is zero blame for them telling me things now. It is sad and hurtful that the things happened. I am probably not as upset learning about them now, as I would've been learning about them then.
I think looking back at it is a good learning experience, so that if I am ever in that position, God forbid, I can impart some wisdom from this. To me, of course, it begs the question, do I wish they had handled it differently? The only reason I DO, is because in the moment, I could've handled it with Him. But now, having those conversations--ha, who am I kidding, they would be arguments--are a Moo Point. It is like a cow's opinion. It's just Moo.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The Illustrious Life I Lead: Bingo Show
I chose to stay in last night. That makes it sound like I did it on purpose. Or I had the option of many other things. And you know what? I had another option, but it turned into a "Couples" thing, and I wasn't feeling like being the confident girl who can hang out with all couples and be totally cool with it. I think there are times that I feel that way; this weekend, the one before my birthday, just isn't that way.
So I rented a movie (Black Dahlia), doctored up a Thin Crust Digiorno Cheese Pizza, bought a six pack of Miller Lite, and set off to enjoy my solo Friday night.
It began with watching a tivo'd Deadliest Catch. The show is addicting. And the idea that it is negative 20 and they are getting WET just amazes me. Upon the baking of my turkey pepperoni and banana pepper pizza, I threw in the dvd.
I rented it because I love Scarlett Johansson. I think a GUY is supposed to say that, but she just intrigues me. I think I am most intrigued by what it is about her that makes her sexy. I mean, is she attractive? Does her voice actually come out of HER? She speaks and it just doesn't MATCH her face.
Josh Hartnett is also in this film, and his voice over commentary throughout is irritating. I know the film was supposed to feel like a classic detective flick, with the overly-dramatic cop giving the play by play, so I guess it achieved its purpose. Oh, and I HATE Hillary Swank.
So the movie is over. I don't eat the entire pizza (yea self-control) and now the Bingo Show is on. There is actually a show, on Friday nights, where people play BINGO! And it is on A-fucking BC! For serious!? As if to say, "You are a loser at home on Friday night, and LOSERS play bingo!"
I was incensed by a couple things. First: The host is bald and looks like Howie Mandel; however, he is British. And his referees in the audience, British accents also, but they are Indian. Is it supposed to be like a Cricket Match? Do Bingo players need a ref.? Do they get feisty and need split up?
Second: Manufactured Drama. They announce how many people are only ONE bingo spot away. Suspense! Intrigue! And they talk to those lucky saps, who only have ONE more spot before they ruin the main contestants hopes and dreams!
Third: Before the huge bingo ball comes out the shoot, the contestant is encouraged to make some arm motion to signal that indeed a ball is coming. And then of course, hot Ball Grabber Girl announces what the number is on the ball.
Fourth: Hot Ball Grabber Girl
I will say, I only watched 10 minutes of this show, then retreated to my room where guess what was on the tv...Deadliest Catch! Score!
So I rented a movie (Black Dahlia), doctored up a Thin Crust Digiorno Cheese Pizza, bought a six pack of Miller Lite, and set off to enjoy my solo Friday night.
It began with watching a tivo'd Deadliest Catch. The show is addicting. And the idea that it is negative 20 and they are getting WET just amazes me. Upon the baking of my turkey pepperoni and banana pepper pizza, I threw in the dvd.
I rented it because I love Scarlett Johansson. I think a GUY is supposed to say that, but she just intrigues me. I think I am most intrigued by what it is about her that makes her sexy. I mean, is she attractive? Does her voice actually come out of HER? She speaks and it just doesn't MATCH her face.
Josh Hartnett is also in this film, and his voice over commentary throughout is irritating. I know the film was supposed to feel like a classic detective flick, with the overly-dramatic cop giving the play by play, so I guess it achieved its purpose. Oh, and I HATE Hillary Swank.
So the movie is over. I don't eat the entire pizza (yea self-control) and now the Bingo Show is on. There is actually a show, on Friday nights, where people play BINGO! And it is on A-fucking BC! For serious!? As if to say, "You are a loser at home on Friday night, and LOSERS play bingo!"
I was incensed by a couple things. First: The host is bald and looks like Howie Mandel; however, he is British. And his referees in the audience, British accents also, but they are Indian. Is it supposed to be like a Cricket Match? Do Bingo players need a ref.? Do they get feisty and need split up?
Second: Manufactured Drama. They announce how many people are only ONE bingo spot away. Suspense! Intrigue! And they talk to those lucky saps, who only have ONE more spot before they ruin the main contestants hopes and dreams!
Third: Before the huge bingo ball comes out the shoot, the contestant is encouraged to make some arm motion to signal that indeed a ball is coming. And then of course, hot Ball Grabber Girl announces what the number is on the ball.
Fourth: Hot Ball Grabber Girl
I will say, I only watched 10 minutes of this show, then retreated to my room where guess what was on the tv...Deadliest Catch! Score!
Friday, May 25, 2007
So...dating?
It came to me during conversations over the last year that my first real adult relationship was with Him.
I think I am going to suck at this.
If there is, like, patience necessary, and uncertainty for days at a time on if someone is 'into you' or not, I may die. And I keep thinking about that book or guy or book guy that is titled "He's Just Not Into You."
Oh, and if my mother recommends one more self-help, how to sell your house, so-and-so was single for a whole YEAR thing to me, I may vomit.
Now, it has only been a month. I'm in big trouble, right? I mean, I might need to be medicated.
I think I am going to suck at this.
If there is, like, patience necessary, and uncertainty for days at a time on if someone is 'into you' or not, I may die. And I keep thinking about that book or guy or book guy that is titled "He's Just Not Into You."
Oh, and if my mother recommends one more self-help, how to sell your house, so-and-so was single for a whole YEAR thing to me, I may vomit.
Now, it has only been a month. I'm in big trouble, right? I mean, I might need to be medicated.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Reading the Signs II: Water Heater
So the heating plate on our hot water heater broke. I can take this as a sign. But I think it could go two ways.
1. Upon this occurring, I called and investigated what needs to be done and who can do it. I called M/I's warranty department. I called a friend who could possibly fix it. I even know someone that can get the part at COST. It is probably not going to be fixed today, but it will definitely get resolved. I am hoping it won't cost an incredible amount of money. But look at me taking care of all of it!
2. Another way I could look at this is that I can NOT afford this house by myself. I am pursuing taking over the mortgage so that I am living alone in my house and not sharing with a guy that doesn't want to be with me. Could this failure of a water heater be pointing me to sticking it out until it sells so as not to push me into debt and/or make me get five new gray hairs which shall be named:
lawn care,
electric bill,
water heater,
ramen noodles, and
second job.
Which way should I read this sign?
1. Upon this occurring, I called and investigated what needs to be done and who can do it. I called M/I's warranty department. I called a friend who could possibly fix it. I even know someone that can get the part at COST. It is probably not going to be fixed today, but it will definitely get resolved. I am hoping it won't cost an incredible amount of money. But look at me taking care of all of it!
2. Another way I could look at this is that I can NOT afford this house by myself. I am pursuing taking over the mortgage so that I am living alone in my house and not sharing with a guy that doesn't want to be with me. Could this failure of a water heater be pointing me to sticking it out until it sells so as not to push me into debt and/or make me get five new gray hairs which shall be named:
lawn care,
electric bill,
water heater,
ramen noodles, and
second job.
Which way should I read this sign?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
The Illustrious Life I Lead
Nothing better than an evening spent watching the food channel and trying to get a knot out of the drawstring of my cotton capri pajama pants.
Monday, May 21, 2007
In The Mirror
I found a new gray hair sticking straight up at the place my bangs part. I am naming it "Divorce".
Interestingly enough, my bangs don't always part the same way. Rarely will the same bangs join each other from one day to the next. We will call it a sign that I am a Gemini. One day they are all together over to the left. Other days some go to the right, very stubbornly.
Now the fact that this gray hair is right there in the "gray zone", seems fairly interesting. Some days it will probably go happily with the other little life experiences, and others it will stand up obstinately.
So you can see how unhealthy it would be, to me, to color it and just pretend it was never there at all.
Interestingly enough, my bangs don't always part the same way. Rarely will the same bangs join each other from one day to the next. We will call it a sign that I am a Gemini. One day they are all together over to the left. Other days some go to the right, very stubbornly.
Now the fact that this gray hair is right there in the "gray zone", seems fairly interesting. Some days it will probably go happily with the other little life experiences, and others it will stand up obstinately.
So you can see how unhealthy it would be, to me, to color it and just pretend it was never there at all.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Reading the Signs
One of my coworkers, who is on maternity leave, brought in her little baby girl. Within 2 hours, one of my students, who is in college now, brought in his puppy.
What exactly goes in the middle of thse two extremes? One is a full fledged adult, married, with two other children and a husband; the other is a sophomore in college, thinking a puppy is a good addition to his already hectic life of class and athletics.
In the middle goes a newly divorcing 28 year old, who will soon have a new home and new area of town, in need of a dog for protection and companionship, and maybe a good excuse to meet other dog-fools at parks.
Possible dog names:
Jack
Andy
Brian
I used to think I wanted a little dog, who I could carry around. Then I thought I want a big dog, something I could hug and love and definitely NOT call George.
Now I think I want a dog that will catch frisbees. Who I could teach to do the agility courses. Who would possibly rock at the crazy dog relay race I've seen on Animal Planet. I think those dogs definitely look like a Jack, Andy, or Brian.
What exactly goes in the middle of thse two extremes? One is a full fledged adult, married, with two other children and a husband; the other is a sophomore in college, thinking a puppy is a good addition to his already hectic life of class and athletics.
In the middle goes a newly divorcing 28 year old, who will soon have a new home and new area of town, in need of a dog for protection and companionship, and maybe a good excuse to meet other dog-fools at parks.
Possible dog names:
Jack
Andy
Brian
I used to think I wanted a little dog, who I could carry around. Then I thought I want a big dog, something I could hug and love and definitely NOT call George.
Now I think I want a dog that will catch frisbees. Who I could teach to do the agility courses. Who would possibly rock at the crazy dog relay race I've seen on Animal Planet. I think those dogs definitely look like a Jack, Andy, or Brian.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
down and back up.
Everyone deserves a good breakdown every now and again.
Unfortunately mine comes, provoked by words of another, on an already stressful day. And if you've ever tried to NOT cry in front of 50 kids, you'll know that it is terribly difficult.
I don't discuss things that happened a year ago because I am trying to deal with the present. It isn't because I am not willing to put blame on myself. Or because I feel blameless now. I know things ended because of me. Because I was not enough for someone. After seeing all of the stuff going on, it is funny that I was not the one that ended it. I just was trying and trying and it wasn't enough; or it wasn't trying the right way, with the right things. Although when someone is truly trying BACK, they aren't doing that other stuff too.
And maybe some of the things I was doing wrong were indeed that I didn't really know who I was when I was with him. And I didn't know how to voice who I actually was deep down inside TO HIM. I can't explain why it was different. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe it was alittle to do with how he talked to me. I've always said that at work, I am ME. WIth my girlfriends, I am ME. That is really why I keep writing. So I am actively pursuing that person inside so that I can meet someone who makes ME feel like she is always out.
I think we all know now what He is doing and that I am trying to deal with it. It isn't really necessary to chronicalize (word?) it any further.
For those who wondered...yes. He is still alive. And boy is he kicking, if kicks come in words intended to make someone feel about wee big.
I suppose if my affairs were posted like this, I'd kick too.
Unfortunately mine comes, provoked by words of another, on an already stressful day. And if you've ever tried to NOT cry in front of 50 kids, you'll know that it is terribly difficult.
I don't discuss things that happened a year ago because I am trying to deal with the present. It isn't because I am not willing to put blame on myself. Or because I feel blameless now. I know things ended because of me. Because I was not enough for someone. After seeing all of the stuff going on, it is funny that I was not the one that ended it. I just was trying and trying and it wasn't enough; or it wasn't trying the right way, with the right things. Although when someone is truly trying BACK, they aren't doing that other stuff too.
And maybe some of the things I was doing wrong were indeed that I didn't really know who I was when I was with him. And I didn't know how to voice who I actually was deep down inside TO HIM. I can't explain why it was different. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe it was alittle to do with how he talked to me. I've always said that at work, I am ME. WIth my girlfriends, I am ME. That is really why I keep writing. So I am actively pursuing that person inside so that I can meet someone who makes ME feel like she is always out.
I think we all know now what He is doing and that I am trying to deal with it. It isn't really necessary to chronicalize (word?) it any further.
For those who wondered...yes. He is still alive. And boy is he kicking, if kicks come in words intended to make someone feel about wee big.
I suppose if my affairs were posted like this, I'd kick too.
up and down
So it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes no matter how much you protect yourself and create distractions, it isn't quite enough. And when you are living in the room located over a garage door that never goes up, all night long, and you notice, it really can make you feel.....
down.
down.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Filed under "Talents I Don't Do Enough With"
Euchre
Oh I'm good :)
As I've often said, if I'm not good at it, I don't do it.
Filed under "Things I Don't Do Because I Suck At It":
darts
billiards
swim laps
Oh I'm good :)
As I've often said, if I'm not good at it, I don't do it.
Filed under "Things I Don't Do Because I Suck At It":
darts
billiards
swim laps
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Humble Pie
So I said I wanted to be all honest and stuff. It is supposed to be freeing...
I got kinda mad today because some chick was singing in my basement. She was recording with some guys He knows, and I thought He had gone and started a band with a chick singer and I was pissy. Taking it personally. Overanalyzing it that it was just another way to twist and twist this dagger.
She was not recording with his band. Just recording. In our basement.
She is good too.
But OH the angry posts I had typed and retyped about it. Now I didn't really need to be angry.
I suck.
I got kinda mad today because some chick was singing in my basement. She was recording with some guys He knows, and I thought He had gone and started a band with a chick singer and I was pissy. Taking it personally. Overanalyzing it that it was just another way to twist and twist this dagger.
She was not recording with his band. Just recording. In our basement.
She is good too.
But OH the angry posts I had typed and retyped about it. Now I didn't really need to be angry.
I suck.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Things Worthy of an Apology in La-La Land
Not telling me sooner-----Check!
Sex with someone else----Nope!
Charging $40 a month to Match.com but not paying equal of the bills----Nope!
Still living here----Nope!
Sex with someone else----Nope!
Charging $40 a month to Match.com but not paying equal of the bills----Nope!
Still living here----Nope!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
For Posterity: The Pregnancy List!
Kristy's Reasons for No Babies
1. stretch marks
2. EPISEOTOMY (yes I was yelling)
3. linea negra (WTF is that?)
4. mucus plugs
5. pooping on the delivery table and/or baby (my cousin was shat on)
6. I like my boobs NOW
7. milk squirting when someone ELSE's baby cries
8. baby poo has been known to burst out of the legs of their diaper
9. boy babies can somehow end up PEEING in your mouth
10. I have a phobia of breastfeeding
11. they cry in tones my ear could not handle
12. vomit
13. the snot sucking thingy
14. I am selfish
15. I like to sleep
16. I like nice restaurants and shoot daggers out my eyes at parents who bring their crying children into restaurants so it would be hypocritical if I did it
17. Travel
18. I hate cartoons
19. I cannot go to a children music recital without rudely laughing at how bad it is (sorry Meghan)
20. college funds takes away from travel fund
21. Kid Car Insurance
22. your periods change (at least my mom "bleeds like a stuck pig"-my mom's words)
23. daycare
24. I couldn't wait 9 months to drink wine
25. I think episeotomy deserves another mention
26. The play area of Tuttle Mall and Polaris (evil; I call it hell)
27. Stepping barefoot on legos
28. Apparently you can grow hairs out your chin during pregnancy
29. Apparently you will lose your hair after pregnancy
I will end there. As this is the date of my birthday, this month. In May. Don’t forget. But I’ll keep reminding you weekly, don’t worry.
1. stretch marks
2. EPISEOTOMY (yes I was yelling)
3. linea negra (WTF is that?)
4. mucus plugs
5. pooping on the delivery table and/or baby (my cousin was shat on)
6. I like my boobs NOW
7. milk squirting when someone ELSE's baby cries
8. baby poo has been known to burst out of the legs of their diaper
9. boy babies can somehow end up PEEING in your mouth
10. I have a phobia of breastfeeding
11. they cry in tones my ear could not handle
12. vomit
13. the snot sucking thingy
14. I am selfish
15. I like to sleep
16. I like nice restaurants and shoot daggers out my eyes at parents who bring their crying children into restaurants so it would be hypocritical if I did it
17. Travel
18. I hate cartoons
19. I cannot go to a children music recital without rudely laughing at how bad it is (sorry Meghan)
20. college funds takes away from travel fund
21. Kid Car Insurance
22. your periods change (at least my mom "bleeds like a stuck pig"-my mom's words)
23. daycare
24. I couldn't wait 9 months to drink wine
25. I think episeotomy deserves another mention
26. The play area of Tuttle Mall and Polaris (evil; I call it hell)
27. Stepping barefoot on legos
28. Apparently you can grow hairs out your chin during pregnancy
29. Apparently you will lose your hair after pregnancy
I will end there. As this is the date of my birthday, this month. In May. Don’t forget. But I’ll keep reminding you weekly, don’t worry.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
We are going to get an offer today!
It is coming; I can feel it! It is the right time. Our lives are lined up so that it really SHOULD happen. And it will.
Before, it was a ploy to keep us living together and working on things, that is until there is cheating and lying and people being big fat meanies. It seems to be pretty clear that living in the same house isn't going to make our relationship last. In fact, one of us could DIE before it is over.
Universe, bring us an offer! Get this moving! We are SOOOOOO ready.
Before, it was a ploy to keep us living together and working on things, that is until there is cheating and lying and people being big fat meanies. It seems to be pretty clear that living in the same house isn't going to make our relationship last. In fact, one of us could DIE before it is over.
Universe, bring us an offer! Get this moving! We are SOOOOOO ready.
Monday, May 7, 2007
A letter to my soon to be ex husband...
Dear You,
I am so relieved that you finally made the right decision to let me know you were done trying. It really is the best thing, because living with someone, trying to be intimate with someone (eventhough I'm not sure you know what that word means), all the while hating them is really not healthy for either party. I guess I don't understand how someone can do that, knowing that the other person is trying. Is sacrificing things for YOU. Is wanting things to work out very badly. What does someone tell themselves in order to do that?
I am really sad these days because I am starting to hate you too. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to start over. And we were supposed to be THAT MUCH stronger, having weathered things. It turns out, I weathered them, so that you could get even. I guess I know which person will be the better one after all of this. Which one of us will have more broken places that have healed and become stronger (citation: David Wilcox).
It is just so hard to heal with you downstairs. But I suppose you know that, which is why you are there. Yes, there YOU ARE (citation: Friends episode--Ross's wedding to Emily). Please just go. You've really hurt me enough already. Isn't that what you wanted? I guess after all of the decieving, I really don't know, do I? You lied in so many ways. I know so little. Does that make me stupid? No. It makes you a liar.
Kristy
Addition: Can I just say that I have been doing this for a long time...writing letters that won't be sent or seen. With the evolution of the blog, it will probably be seen by someone, maybe not THE person it is to, but it just feels that much better to be honest to all, not just yourself. And if someone ever wants to post one of THEIR letters like this, bring it! It is cathartic.
I am so relieved that you finally made the right decision to let me know you were done trying. It really is the best thing, because living with someone, trying to be intimate with someone (eventhough I'm not sure you know what that word means), all the while hating them is really not healthy for either party. I guess I don't understand how someone can do that, knowing that the other person is trying. Is sacrificing things for YOU. Is wanting things to work out very badly. What does someone tell themselves in order to do that?
I am really sad these days because I am starting to hate you too. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to start over. And we were supposed to be THAT MUCH stronger, having weathered things. It turns out, I weathered them, so that you could get even. I guess I know which person will be the better one after all of this. Which one of us will have more broken places that have healed and become stronger (citation: David Wilcox).
It is just so hard to heal with you downstairs. But I suppose you know that, which is why you are there. Yes, there YOU ARE (citation: Friends episode--Ross's wedding to Emily). Please just go. You've really hurt me enough already. Isn't that what you wanted? I guess after all of the decieving, I really don't know, do I? You lied in so many ways. I know so little. Does that make me stupid? No. It makes you a liar.
Kristy
Addition: Can I just say that I have been doing this for a long time...writing letters that won't be sent or seen. With the evolution of the blog, it will probably be seen by someone, maybe not THE person it is to, but it just feels that much better to be honest to all, not just yourself. And if someone ever wants to post one of THEIR letters like this, bring it! It is cathartic.
In Case It Wasn't Obvious...
I'll spell out my feelings. I am angry today. Things haven't even happened, and I am already angry about the possibility that they COULD happen. It may be PMS, because I do get overly frustrated during that time...but this is just a whole lot of anger people!
I don't even know that NOT living in the same house would make this any better. I don't think it even matters where he is living or the fact that I make coffee everynight and he ends up drinking it too. Or that I unload the dishes after he has used some of them and put them in without rinsing. I swear, if all of that wasn't going on, I'd STILL be this angry.
Maybe if I vomit I'll feel better, because Lord knows it makes me nauseous. If only I had to a cat or dog that could poop in his shoes. Then I'd feel better.
I don't even know that NOT living in the same house would make this any better. I don't think it even matters where he is living or the fact that I make coffee everynight and he ends up drinking it too. Or that I unload the dishes after he has used some of them and put them in without rinsing. I swear, if all of that wasn't going on, I'd STILL be this angry.
Maybe if I vomit I'll feel better, because Lord knows it makes me nauseous. If only I had to a cat or dog that could poop in his shoes. Then I'd feel better.
Ways to Make Him Move OUT!
1. Get a dog.
2. Gangsta Rap while cooking and getting ready in the morning
3. Canceling the DirecTV
4. Canceling the TIVO!
5. Two Dogs
6. Letting the hot water run the whole time I am getting ready in the morning.
7. Sauteeing an onion a day.
8. Placing tuna under his bed.
Any other suggestions??
2. Gangsta Rap while cooking and getting ready in the morning
3. Canceling the DirecTV
4. Canceling the TIVO!
5. Two Dogs
6. Letting the hot water run the whole time I am getting ready in the morning.
7. Sauteeing an onion a day.
8. Placing tuna under his bed.
Any other suggestions??
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Who's Hungover?
I am! I am!
Two nights of eating for over 3 hours and drinking wine. I have finally found MY TYPE of people.
Now if only I could find someone to pay me to eat and drink, rather than it come from my funds, I'd be set!
Don't worry. I haven't turned to the whole bulimia thing...but it is tempting. (is it poor taste to joke about eating disorders? maybe)
Two nights of eating for over 3 hours and drinking wine. I have finally found MY TYPE of people.
Now if only I could find someone to pay me to eat and drink, rather than it come from my funds, I'd be set!
Line up people! Come pay to see the amazing Kristy! It is money well spent! She eats, she drinks, you think she is done...but no! She is still picking at that calamari! Still wishing for another girly martini. Wait...she just might look at the dessert menu. Will she? Will she? Ohh, no! No room for dessert. I'm sorry folks, you may have to come back tomorrow and see if she splurges on the tiramisu or something with the word cake in the name.
Don't worry. I haven't turned to the whole bulimia thing...but it is tempting. (is it poor taste to joke about eating disorders? maybe)
Friday, May 4, 2007
Someone Slap Me Up Side the Head
I don't want my idiot ex to be the major topic of conversation from here until whenever. So if you are with me, and it is spewing relentlessly. Give me a nice firm whack. Now, try and stay away from the face region. And if you touch my nose, I may give you a forearm to the teeth.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Nuggets of Wisdom
These are from someone who claims openly that he is SO smarter than me.
1. "You found out about that AFTER I broke up with you, so it doesn't matter."
Apparently when you are married, you can still just, break up! Brilliant! I had no idea! So how about you take your 'broken' ass and get out of my FUCKING HOUSE!
2. "We weren't together. We were never really together."
Ah, so for the last 6 months, as I am "cleaving" to you and not speaking to my parents, we weren't together? Remind me again, what does "cleaving" mean?
3. "You act like you are leaving me."
Uh, really? And if so, so what? You sad you aren't winning the "Leaving Contest"? Pobrecito.
This is what He meant when he said arguing with his exwife was pointless. You can't argue with Crazy. Seriously.
1. "You found out about that AFTER I broke up with you, so it doesn't matter."
Apparently when you are married, you can still just, break up! Brilliant! I had no idea! So how about you take your 'broken' ass and get out of my FUCKING HOUSE!
2. "We weren't together. We were never really together."
Ah, so for the last 6 months, as I am "cleaving" to you and not speaking to my parents, we weren't together? Remind me again, what does "cleaving" mean?
3. "You act like you are leaving me."
Uh, really? And if so, so what? You sad you aren't winning the "Leaving Contest"? Pobrecito.
This is what He meant when he said arguing with his exwife was pointless. You can't argue with Crazy. Seriously.
How I know I am fine.
1. I had the worst night of sleep last night, with stressful dreams of Him wanting to get back together.
I woke up and just grinned; Thank God it was just a dream.
2. I had a massage and pedicure yesterday. After, I went to Whole Foods for dinner. I walked through the store, sampling cheese, perusing menus (sushi, french, and trattoria), and eyeballing salads, soups and pizza.
I decided upon the trattoria and a raspberry chicken salad and purchased a half bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. I read my book. I ate my salad. I chatted with the lady to my left. I chatted with the lady to my right. After she left, I chatted with two 50 something men who asked if I was reading a "dirty book". Good to know I've got the mid-life crisis guys, if I want them!
3. I am excited for tonight, cooking my dinner, watching some tivo, and possibly taking a jaunt through a park.
4. My friends are commenting about how happy I am.
I woke up and just grinned; Thank God it was just a dream.
2. I had a massage and pedicure yesterday. After, I went to Whole Foods for dinner. I walked through the store, sampling cheese, perusing menus (sushi, french, and trattoria), and eyeballing salads, soups and pizza.
I decided upon the trattoria and a raspberry chicken salad and purchased a half bottle of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. I read my book. I ate my salad. I chatted with the lady to my left. I chatted with the lady to my right. After she left, I chatted with two 50 something men who asked if I was reading a "dirty book". Good to know I've got the mid-life crisis guys, if I want them!
3. I am excited for tonight, cooking my dinner, watching some tivo, and possibly taking a jaunt through a park.
4. My friends are commenting about how happy I am.
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