Today

A couple months ago I learned about a thing called the "Golden Birthday". It is the birthday when your age is the same as the date.

Today is mine.

I received a card from my coworkers:
"Did you know that more than a million people were born on your birthday"
open card
"That makes you one in a million."

Gee. Thanks!

For Future Knowledge

I have come to find out my friends have been put in a couple awkward situations. It makes me angry to know that they had to think about my relationship with Him. That they had to stress a little bit over how to handle things. I say a little bit, because I am not going to presume they stressed a lot. That would be a bit egotistical. But the concern over whether or not to TELL ME things has to be at least a little inconvenient for them. Especially when they have lives that are probably a bit stressful all by themselves, without figuring in my fucked up situation of the last 9 months.


In no way do I think they handled any of these things poorly. There is zero blame on them for not telling me things when they happened. There is zero blame for them telling me things now. It is sad and hurtful that the things happened. I am probably not as upset learning about them now, as I would've been learning about them then.

I think looking back at it is a good learning experience, so that if I am ever in that position, God forbid, I can impart some wisdom from this. To me, of course, it begs the question, do I wish they had handled it differently? The only reason I DO, is because in the moment, I could've handled it with Him. But now, having those conversations--ha, who am I kidding, they would be arguments--are a Moo Point. It is like a cow's opinion. It's just Moo.

The Illustrious Life I Lead: Bingo Show

I chose to stay in last night. That makes it sound like I did it on purpose. Or I had the option of many other things. And you know what? I had another option, but it turned into a "Couples" thing, and I wasn't feeling like being the confident girl who can hang out with all couples and be totally cool with it. I think there are times that I feel that way; this weekend, the one before my birthday, just isn't that way.

So I rented a movie (Black Dahlia), doctored up a Thin Crust Digiorno Cheese Pizza, bought a six pack of Miller Lite, and set off to enjoy my solo Friday night.

It began with watching a tivo'd Deadliest Catch. The show is addicting. And the idea that it is negative 20 and they are getting WET just amazes me. Upon the baking of my turkey pepperoni and banana pepper pizza, I threw in the dvd.

I rented it because I love Scarlett Johansson. I think a GUY is supposed to say that, but she just intrigues me. I think I am most intrigued by what it is about her that makes her sexy. I mean, is she attractive? Does her voice actually come out of HER? She speaks and it just doesn't MATCH her face.

Josh Hartnett is also in this film, and his voice over commentary throughout is irritating. I know the film was supposed to feel like a classic detective flick, with the overly-dramatic cop giving the play by play, so I guess it achieved its purpose. Oh, and I HATE Hillary Swank.

So the movie is over. I don't eat the entire pizza (yea self-control) and now the Bingo Show is on. There is actually a show, on Friday nights, where people play BINGO! And it is on A-fucking BC! For serious!? As if to say, "You are a loser at home on Friday night, and LOSERS play bingo!"

I was incensed by a couple things. First: The host is bald and looks like Howie Mandel; however, he is British. And his referees in the audience, British accents also, but they are Indian. Is it supposed to be like a Cricket Match? Do Bingo players need a ref.? Do they get feisty and need split up?

Second: Manufactured Drama. They announce how many people are only ONE bingo spot away. Suspense! Intrigue! And they talk to those lucky saps, who only have ONE more spot before they ruin the main contestants hopes and dreams!

Third: Before the huge bingo ball comes out the shoot, the contestant is encouraged to make some arm motion to signal that indeed a ball is coming. And then of course, hot Ball Grabber Girl announces what the number is on the ball.

Fourth: Hot Ball Grabber Girl

I will say, I only watched 10 minutes of this show, then retreated to my room where guess what was on the tv...Deadliest Catch! Score!

So...dating?

It came to me during conversations over the last year that my first real adult relationship was with Him.

I think I am going to suck at this.

If there is, like, patience necessary, and uncertainty for days at a time on if someone is 'into you' or not, I may die. And I keep thinking about that book or guy or book guy that is titled "He's Just Not Into You."

Oh, and if my mother recommends one more self-help, how to sell your house, so-and-so was single for a whole YEAR thing to me, I may vomit.

Now, it has only been a month. I'm in big trouble, right? I mean, I might need to be medicated.

Reading the Signs II: Water Heater

So the heating plate on our hot water heater broke. I can take this as a sign. But I think it could go two ways.

1. Upon this occurring, I called and investigated what needs to be done and who can do it. I called M/I's warranty department. I called a friend who could possibly fix it. I even know someone that can get the part at COST. It is probably not going to be fixed today, but it will definitely get resolved. I am hoping it won't cost an incredible amount of money. But look at me taking care of all of it!

2. Another way I could look at this is that I can NOT afford this house by myself. I am pursuing taking over the mortgage so that I am living alone in my house and not sharing with a guy that doesn't want to be with me. Could this failure of a water heater be pointing me to sticking it out until it sells so as not to push me into debt and/or make me get five new gray hairs which shall be named:
lawn care,
electric bill,
water heater,
ramen noodles, and
second job.

Which way should I read this sign?

The Illustrious Life I Lead

Nothing better than an evening spent watching the food channel and trying to get a knot out of the drawstring of my cotton capri pajama pants.

In The Mirror

I found a new gray hair sticking straight up at the place my bangs part. I am naming it "Divorce".

Interestingly enough, my bangs don't always part the same way. Rarely will the same bangs join each other from one day to the next. We will call it a sign that I am a Gemini. One day they are all together over to the left. Other days some go to the right, very stubbornly.

Now the fact that this gray hair is right there in the "gray zone", seems fairly interesting. Some days it will probably go happily with the other little life experiences, and others it will stand up obstinately.

So you can see how unhealthy it would be, to me, to color it and just pretend it was never there at all.